Building A Better Community

 This Christmas I invited a large group of people to go  carolling with me for the first time since I was a young adult. I used to go often as a child from door to door in my own neighbourhood. I remember how welcoming my neighbours were, and how they would have Christmas treats waiting at the door for us carollers. It was a wonderful time to connect with neighbours and bring some Christmas cheer through music. I loved it. It gave me such a strong sense of community identity.

 This year was so different! Many people in my own neighbourhood wouldn't come out of their homes and even seemed frightened to open their doors to us. Some would look out the window at us waiting to sing for them, shut out the lights and walk away! Some happily opened their doors and even thanked us for the lovely music but the majority did not. 

 To be honest, at first I was a bit discouraged. I wondered why people would be so cold and reject an obvious gift. After some contemplation though; I realised there might be more to it than meets the eye.


 I believe the underlying issue is a general lack of trust. My age group is faced with the challenges of needing to raise our children to be stranger aware, avoid cyber-bullying, be self-reliant and avoid being taken advantage of, amongst a myriad of other challenges. The task can be quite daunting! These issues are all very important to address. Our children need to be safe and proactive, yet, we can actually swing to the opposite extreme and become distrusting and even fearful. I believe this can lead to a general isolation and alienation from our communities. 

I sense this issue of mistrust has to be addressed on a personal level before it can be solved on a community level. The question I had to ask myself was, "Do I really trust the people around me?" and if I don't,"why not?". I was surprised to discover that deep down inside, I still don't let people in past a certain point. In a sense, it is a learned behaviour. It is a perceived way of staying safe. I also think there is a part of me that perceives that perhaps people don't want to come any closer to me.

The bottom line is; we need each other. The people you are surrounded by, are there for a reason. Even the ones that we don't relate to as easily, or rub us the wrong way. Those are the ones in some ways, that teach us the most about what is really going on inside of us. When we don't let these people around us in, I think we are tragically missing out on the incredible opportunity of growing as a people together. Practising better community means letting people in. Seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it I believe, fosters trust.

Make a point this next week or so, to choose to let someone in to your life a little more than you ever have. Try to foster community by trusting just a little more than you ever have. I believe you will be surprised at the many benefits it will produce!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

When fear chokes out our song

In a previous post I talked about fear and the need to overcome it by facing it. Fear can rob us of our voice; of our song. I believe everyone on this earth has a song. I think some have been robbed of their real song because of fear. I have battled with fear and intimidation for most of my life. It is only recently that I could say with confidence that I am no longer a fearful person who is controlled by that adversary.

 A few years ago, I realised I had had the same recurring dream for years: I had wads and wads of gum in my mouth, and no matter how much of it I pulled out, I couldn't clear my mouth of it. I was choking on it, and there was no way of getting it all out. After doing some extensive soul searching and praying, I discovered the dream originated in early elementary school. I had a harsh teacher who was cruel, and I was afraid of her. In that same year, I developed sleeping issues and this recurring dream. Into my adult years this dream would follow me. Whenever I was feeling intimidated about something, I would have the dream. I finally realised the dream represented my feelings of helplessness, and not having a VOICE. Back when I was a child, I had made the decision in my head  that I did not have a voice to defend myself. To protect myself, I developed a truth that said: "Don't show too much of your heart or voice; it could be taken away." The problem with that truth was, IT WAS A LIE! I DID have a voice. I could have used it, but fear was the louder voice and I allowed it to become my captor. I was enslaved.

  Years later, I would approach my pastor and seek his advice. As a singer, whenever I would start to really sing out with boldness and let my heart show, a sudden panic would set in. I would hit a wall, and I would  just back down. It was like I was choked. My very wise pastor responded that he too, had battled with fear and that I would overcome it by refusing to BACK DOWN. I hadn't even told him outright that I was afraid, but he knew the signs of someone being bullied by fear.

 My experience with my teacher was real. This teacher had hurt me. Because of that, I had developed my own truths about how to protect myself from then on. The only trouble was, the guard that protected my heart----- was fear. Fear is a LIAR. Fear will keep you in a prison for the rest of your life and rob you of your voice. I had to face fear, and tell it I would no longer cower in its presence. I had to address the lie that said I didn't have a voice. I had to embrace a new truth which was: I have a voice. I have a song. It needs to be heard. It must be sung. 

Facing fear is, well, scary! Just remember though, when an army is about to take over enemy ground on the battlefield, the enemy will rise up and fight back because they do not want to give up any ground. In this case, when you chose to overcome fear, it WILL rear its ugly head and try to force you to surrender. Don't! On just the other side is FREEDOM.





You have a song to sing, and we need to hear it. It heals hearts; and gives others latitude in their own lives. Never, ever back down and go after your freedom!