Do you remember that beautiful poem about relationships?
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus
There are times in my marriage that this very romantic poem was pretty much the opposite of where we were at. It probably SHOULD have been written like this:
Don't walk behind me, cause I'm scared you'll give me a wedgie.
Don't walk in front of me; I'll just kick you in the butt.
Just walk beside me; so I can punch you in the eye.
Jenn Banas
All joking aside, we really have had days where our marriage looked more like a battleground than a setting for a romantic poem. If you have been married for more than 24 hours, you can probably relate. Marriage is HARD WORK!!
Here are some principles that we have learnt and that we steadfastly stick to that help us stay faithful to our promise to one another. I hope they help you too:
1. Unspoken expectations equal disappointment:
We are not a mind reading species. So many times I've had an expectation in my head about our relationship that I assumed would just be so obvious to my hubby. NOT!! Girl brains and boy brains are TOTALLY DIFFERENT! They come from different planets. They are made of different stuff. Never assume; always clearly articulate what you expect. It may seem like a romance killer to always say what you want and need but it truly paves the way for open, honest communication.
2. Forgive, forgive, forgive:
Once unforgiveness seeps in, hatred quickly follows. It is a MARRIAGE KILLER. How many times should you forgive? As many times as you would wish to be forgiven. Remember: forgiveness is sexy.
3. Don't give up:
Tenaciously, stubbornly, faithfully stick to that promise you made to your partner the day you said , "I do". Promises still matter. We need to stick to our promises because those are the foundations of our marriages. Better marriages make better families; better families make better communities.
4. Say," I love you":
Especially when you don't feel like it. Because love isn't about feelings; it's about choosing. Say it with your words. Say it with your actions. Choose it in your heart.
Albert Camus
There are times in my marriage that this very romantic poem was pretty much the opposite of where we were at. It probably SHOULD have been written like this:
Don't walk behind me, cause I'm scared you'll give me a wedgie.
Don't walk in front of me; I'll just kick you in the butt.
Just walk beside me; so I can punch you in the eye.
Jenn Banas
All joking aside, we really have had days where our marriage looked more like a battleground than a setting for a romantic poem. If you have been married for more than 24 hours, you can probably relate. Marriage is HARD WORK!!
Here are some principles that we have learnt and that we steadfastly stick to that help us stay faithful to our promise to one another. I hope they help you too:
1. Unspoken expectations equal disappointment:
We are not a mind reading species. So many times I've had an expectation in my head about our relationship that I assumed would just be so obvious to my hubby. NOT!! Girl brains and boy brains are TOTALLY DIFFERENT! They come from different planets. They are made of different stuff. Never assume; always clearly articulate what you expect. It may seem like a romance killer to always say what you want and need but it truly paves the way for open, honest communication.
2. Forgive, forgive, forgive:
Once unforgiveness seeps in, hatred quickly follows. It is a MARRIAGE KILLER. How many times should you forgive? As many times as you would wish to be forgiven. Remember: forgiveness is sexy.
3. Don't give up:
Tenaciously, stubbornly, faithfully stick to that promise you made to your partner the day you said , "I do". Promises still matter. We need to stick to our promises because those are the foundations of our marriages. Better marriages make better families; better families make better communities.
4. Say," I love you":
Especially when you don't feel like it. Because love isn't about feelings; it's about choosing. Say it with your words. Say it with your actions. Choose it in your heart.
Your marriage can be your greatest accomplishment; the finest piece of artwork that fill your homes.
It can be the most beautiful symphony that is sung into your children's hearts
and therefore will shape generations to come.
May you have peace in your homes, and love in your hearts.
Love it!
ReplyDeleteThank you Steph!!
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